The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
