Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
