i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
