i permit you to call me
you would pick up someone in the library
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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