a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
