I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
