Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
