Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
