there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
