I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
