shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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