I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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