3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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