Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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