I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
