Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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