apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
