That's intense
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
