Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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