I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
