6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
