we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wish I only lived at night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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