I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So. Much. Porn.
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