She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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