We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
