Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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