Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
