Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
