it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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