I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
