Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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