How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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