Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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