return my video game
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
operation have a gay friend backfired
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
