In the future we'll all be gay
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
