; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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