Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
