chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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