Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
