LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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