okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
