i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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