Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
