stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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