I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
