I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
