when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize