I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
