Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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