Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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